What to Read Now

A memoir of trauma, healing and making sense of complex PTSD

Stephanie Foo’s What My Bones Know is a different kind of memoir about trauma that I found to be both affecting and hopeful. Foo does more than just write about her past; she unpacks her abusive childhood with journalistic curiosity, making sense of her experience while searching for real ways to navigate her complex PTSD (CPTSD) diagnosis.

As both the subject and the investigator, Foo digs into the science behind CPTSD, interviews experts and personally tests different healing methods, from EMDR to restorative yoga. It feels as much like a practical guidebook on trauma as it does a poetic narrative about life, which may be why one critic called the book, “a huge artistic genre-busting achievement.”

If you’re looking to be inspired and informed, this is a good choice. But before you get started, here are few things to know about the often overlooked topic of CPTSD.

What is CPTSD?

CPTSD isn’t officially listed in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), but it is recognized by the World Health Organization’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). Many mental health pros, including Foo’s own therapists, treat it as a legitimate psychiatric diagnosis.

While PTSD is linked to surviving one or more traumatic events, CPTSD describes the impact of long-term, repetitive trauma—especially when there’s no real escape. Growing up with an abusive parent, living in an unsafe environment, enduring systemic discrimination or surviving human trafficking are all examples of experiences that can lead to CPTSD.

Here’s what Foo has to say about the repetitive part:

“When you are traumatized that many times, the number of conscious and subconscious triggers bloats, becomes infinite and inexplicable. If you are beaten for hundreds of mistakes, then every mistake becomes dangerous. If dozens of people let you down, all people become untrustworthy. The world itself becomes a threat.”

What are CPTSD symptoms?

People with CPTSD often struggle with:

Emotional flashbacks: Sudden waves of fear, shame or panic triggered by something seemingly small, without a clear memory attached.

Chronic shame or guilt: Feeling deeply flawed, unworthy or like a burden.

Relationship struggles: Difficulty trusting others, fear of abandonment or feeling emotionally numb.

Dissociation: A sense of being detached from oneself, zoning out or losing time. (Foo initially denies dissociation and then embraces it.)

Hypervigilance: Always on edge, expecting danger or feeling the need to control everything to feel safe.

Physical symptoms: Chronic pain, tension, fatigue or gut issues due to a nervous system stuck in survival mode.

How is CPTSD treated?

Traditional talk therapy can be helpful, but when trauma is stored in the body, healing often requires deeper, more integrative mind-body-spirit approaches. Foo tries some of the most effective methods, including:

EMDR, a highly effective and often misunderstood modality that helps reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their emotional charge. It involves bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) while recalling distressing events. Over time, this can reduce the emotional weight of painful memories and change negative self-beliefs.

Since trauma often lives in the body, somatic therapies focus on physical sensations, movement, and breath to release stored tension. Techniques like Somatic Experiencing help clients tune into their body's responses and gradually build a sense of safety.

These approaches use real-time monitoring of heart rate, brain waves or muscle tension to help retrain the nervous system. Neurofeedback, for example, helps regulate brain activity, reducing hypervigilance and emotional dysregulation over time.

Practices like mindful breathing, meditation and yoga help calm an overactive nervous system. Deep, intentional breathing can shift the body out of fight-or-flight mode and into a state of relaxation.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps people understand the different “parts” of themselves—like the inner critic, the protector or the wounded child. Rather than trying to get rid of these parts, IFS focuses on integrating them with compassion.

CPTSD is not BPD

Because CPTSD involves emotional dysregulation, unstable relationships and deep-seated fears of abandonment, it’s sometimes mistaken for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Both diagnoses can involve emotional reactivity, impulsivity and difficulty trusting others. However, the key difference is that CPTSD stems from prolonged trauma, whereas BPD is primarily understood as a disorder that affects emotional processing.

Foo tackles this overlap, highlighting how many people—especially women—are misdiagnosed with BPD when their symptoms are actually the result of repetitive trauma. Knowing the difference is crucial, as misdiagnosis can lead to mistreatment and further feelings of invalidation.

The book has a happy ending

If you’re hesitant to read a memoir about such a difficult topic, you may be swayed by the author’s note:

“For my fellow complex PTSD darlings: I know that trauma books can be triggering and painful to read. I’ve struggled through a number of them myself. But I felt that it was necessary for me to share my abusive childhood in order for the reader to understand where I’m coming from. Part I of this book might be tough for you, though I ask that you at least give it a shot.

But I won’t judge you if, at any point, you need to skip ahead a few pages. And I’d like to promise you this, even if it is a bit of a spoiler:

This book has a happy ending.”